I
think I am the most criticised President in the whole world, but I want to tell
this audience that before I leave, I will be the most praised President,” said
President Goodluck Jonathan at the opening of the 52nd Annual General Meeting of the Nigerian Bar Association
at the International Conference Centre in Abuja.
Hey guys, I guess you know that pointing fingers is not my style,
hahaha, just as I know that it will be difficult to find a single
Nigerian who hasn’t pointed fingers at President Goodluck Jonathan since he
became President. But really, can so many fingers be pointed at a single
individual all at the same time? Some people have gone to the extent
of saying that since Jonathan took office, everything has gone to hell in a
hand basket. Continue..
Others have held him responsible for everything that has gone wrong in the country, from the tear in their pants to the economy. Trust me: Nigerians are beginning to agree that when it comes to assigning blame, look to Jonathan first.
There are some hardliners who don’t care if Jonathan wasn’t
President during the civil war. He must have been thinking about it, and that’s
good enough reason for them. They even say that if he hadn’t been sticking his
nose into government, the civil war wouldn’t have happened. Funny,
Nigerians have found the perfect target for dealing with their bad days.
Late to work? Blame Jonathan! Did
the soup in the fridge melt when you weren’t looking? It’s Goodluck Jonathan.
Can’t find your smelling socks? Jonathan! Your baby pees on the chair, again?
Jonathan. The possibilities are endless! Hey, are we not just being unfair to
Goodluck Jonathan? We blame him for all and everything. Even for
things that are not his fault. Let me ask you something sir or madam, if
Jonathan is to blame for everything wrong in Nigeria today, what becomes of the
previous presidents under whose regimes most of these problems started?
On Tuesday evening on my way back from NTA, I stopped at the Bar Beach
to buy suya. I was a little bit early because I met the aboki lighting his
charcoal. As I waited, I saw two weird looking rastas looking like archangelsMichael and Gabriel
in their white Cele garments walk down to just about five yards from the water,
raised their holy robes in unison like atilogwu dancers trying to master a new
dance routine and bent down and began to defecate. Couples
of minutes later, I heard them walking back complaining of how dirty and smelly
the beach had become from what it used to be.
As they passed by me, the taller one said “omo naija, presido no dey try
at all. See as this place don yamayama finish, dem no dey see as those oyinbo
beach be for inside film wey we dey watch?” At that point, I couldn’t hold back
my anger. I just had to say something: “Shebi na una just shit finish for that
place so? And una get mouth dey blame the president. Una see him shit
for there?”
We are having a distant relationship with the truth in this country. We
have developed that rare ability to be hypocritical and not so much
as give a damn whether we are equally guilty of the things we are blaming on
others. In truth, Goodluck Jonathan should roll up his sleeves, spit on his
palms and get to work on a lot of things. We keep saying that
corruption escalated under his regime but why do we keep failing to associate it with
the fact that these corrupt individuals are Nigerians?
I listened to some custom
officers saying that If it wasn’t for Goodluck Jonathan’s backward
policies, everything at the Nigerian borders would be perfect. Yes, let us keep
dumping everything on Goodluck Jonathan. Even our own responsibilities as
citizens.
He’s the reason our custom and police officers are more
interested in collecting bribes than fighting crime and checking for
contraband goods coming into the country. It is also Jonathan’s fault
that the security operatives at the Lagos airport have all turned beggars.
Should the president also take the rap for the Director-General of the
Standards Organisation of Nigeria not being able to see that the nation is
littered with fake products? Maybe Goodluck Jonathan should be with
him daily and point him towards fake products and manufacturers.
The fight to save this country does not begin or stop at Janathan’s table.
It must be an all Nigerian battle. Let the pastors stop praying for
corrupt politicians and tell them to their faces to stop stealing
public funds. If all drivers have their complete vehicle papers and obey
traffic laws, there will be no need to give out money to the police and we
will be on our way to a better society.
Ask yourself where your governor got the billions he spends on
frivolities? People in the rural areas of Akwa Ibom state are living in
thatched houses and we are building another stadium? Have you tried
asking what the Abia State Government did with the state’s allocation for eight
years? Do you think President Jonathan will be allowed a minute of sleep if he
failed to remit monies due to the states? So why then do we pour all the blames
on him?
Your governor owns empty estates in Dubai and factories
in South Africa when people of their states are homeless and jobless,
is that Jonathan’s fault too? Where did we get the preposterous notion that
President Jonathan took office and people started having trouble finding
jobs? Did we have a zero unemployment rate in the country before President
Jonathan?
Millions of Nigerians are working their asses out and dying as
contract staffs and casual workers, where is the NLC? Is it not
aware of the appalling working conditions Nigerian workers are subjected to by
multinationals? Of course, it is all Jonathan’s fault. Last time I
checked, Jonathan was a president or a magician. Should he be doing the job of
the NLC too, supervising every sector of the country at the same time? Let us
be truthful to ourselves, since when have we had good roads in this country?
Were there roads in the country that Jonathan destroyed? Have we had
electricity in the country before President Jonathan? We say Boko Haram started
as a result of poverty and lack of education in the North, were there
schools in the North that Jonathan destroyed? Trust me, the architects of Boko
Haram know what they’re talking about when they say it is all
Jonathan’s fault.
For everyone out there, below are a list of things Goodluck Jonathan is
yet to be blamed for, so go ahead andmake your pick and let the
blame game continue: Cancer, AIDS, racism, air pollution, sin, child porn,
human meat at Jankara market, home video, obesity, Drake sleeping with
everyone’s chic, Kim Kardashian’s nude picture, tribalism and every
other kind of ism, Arsenal’s trophyless seasons, Facebook, Twitter and Wizkid’s
last album
0 Comments