When
I got married, I was amazed at the instant, overwhelming sense of
responsibility I felt to love and care for my husband. Suddenly, a huge part of
someone else's well-being and happiness was largely affected by my choices and
actions.
Women,
we need to be careful about how we are caring for our husbands and marriages.
Don't let the small stuff ruin the things that will bring you the greatest
happiness in life.
Here
are just a few ways you might be unknowingly destroying your husband and
killing your marriage (as a caveat, please understand that although this
article is directed toward women, it applies to men as well): Continue..
1.
Living outside of what you can afford
A
wise old woman from my church congregation once advised: "The best thing
you can do as a wife is to live within your husband's means."
Wives,
show sincere appreciation and respect to your husband by carefully following a
budget and making the most of what you have. Be wise about your finances.
Constantly
complaining about not having enough to fulfill your lavish desires or racking
up astronomical amounts of debt on your credit card is a poor way of saying
"thank you" to a faithful spouse who works hard every day to provide
for the family.
Yes,
you may not have enough to buy that Kate Spade bag you've had your eyes on for
months, but your husband will love and appreciate the fact that you honor him
and are grateful for what he provides.
2.
Constant negativity
You
hate your hair, the messes around the house, the neighbor across the street,
your dumb co-worker, the old dishwasher, and everything in between. As soon as
your husband walks through the door, you launch into action and dump every
negative and angry thought that's crossed your mind throughout the day.
Can
you imagine having to carry that burden? Negativity is draining. Men like to
fix things, and constantly being hounded with complaints makes it difficult for
him to help solve your pains.
If
there is one thing I've learned from marriage is that a good man wants you to
be happy, and if he can't help you do that, it makes him unhappy. It's okay to
have a bad day once in a while, that's totally understandable, but don't make
it a way of life.
3.
Putting everything else first
When
your children, mom, best friends, talents, or career in front of your husband,
you send a clear message to him that he is unimportant. Imagine having that
message sent to you every day for many years. What would that do to your self
esteem?
Put
your husband first.
Although
it sometimes seems counter-intuitive and counterproductive, I think you'd be
amazed to find that it's often the key to the greatest happiness in marriage.
So many couples get divorced these days, because they neglect to care and love
one another and put each other first.
If
you choose to put each other first, you will find a lot of joy.
Read4
key reasons why it matters to put your spouse before your children
4.
Withholding physical affection
Men
crave and need physical affection with their wives. When you constantly decline
intimacy, it wears on them.
Sex
should not be used as a tool to control your spouse; it should be viewed as a
sacred tool to draw you closer to one another and to God.
It
is a great blessing to be wanted and needed by a loving, romantic husband who
wants to share something so beautiful and important with you -- and you only.
Even though you might not always be in the mood, it's worth it to give in (when
you can) and spend that time bonding.
5.
Not speaking his language
Women
love to drop hints. (I think it's part of our DNA.) But men just don't get
them. (I think that is a part of their DNA.)
Don't
waste your time giving subtle hints that he won't understand: Speak plainly to
him. Be honest about your feelings, and don't bottle things up until you burst.
If he asks you what's wrong, don't respond with "nothing" and then
expect him to read your mind and emotions. Be open about how you really feel.
Culled: Family Share
0 Comments