Is something wrong with the Nigerian woman? Has she lost her
beauty and power of seduction? How come Nigerian billionaires and politicians
are all of a sudden having preference for foreign women? Or has the money
syndrome finally caught up with them?
…… Oops! Did you say it’s about time? Hmmm maybe Nigerian
men are difficult to satisfy like some of our ladies have claimed. But is that
the appropriate excuse?
Well, for any woman who truly knows her onions, pleasing a
man (whether a Nigerian or not) is never a difficult feat. So ladies, here are
some insights to a Nigerian man’s heart that will guide you to becoming the
right woman in his eyes.
Submission has got a bad rap in recent years.
The feminist
movement has even made
matters worse. Women are forgetting that submission wasn’t
your man’s idea, it was God’s. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own
husbands, as unto the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) Again the Word says, “Wives,
submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fitting in the Lord.”
(Colossians 3:18). Men should also know that submission does not mean
subjection to abuse. Submission simply implies respect for another’s authority.
Ok sweerie, the premiership ends this weekend. You can now
have the remote control from Monday morning. Watch as much telemundo and your
Nollywood movies as you can from now till August. Nigerian ladies should
understand that the key to a harmonious family life is finding that balance.
Your man may not be a professional footballer and probably may not go to the
field and play every Saturday, but if you don’t disturb him whenever he is
watching his favourite team play on TV, he will love you more.
Remember that by learning to love and support his team, you
are creating a deeper bond between the two of you. Be on his side, root for his
team, celebrate his victories, mourn his defeats. Even the Bible commands us to
“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” (Romans
12:15) lol…
Every Nigerian man loves food. I mean the actual food.
There’s no such thing as a modern or old fashion way. A way is a way and the
only way to a typical African man’s heart has always been through his stomach.
Coming home from a long day’s work, we enjoy nothing better than a well cooked
meal. Remember the story of Esau in the Bible? He was so hungry and was
practically shaking after working in the fields that he was willing to sell his
birthright to his brother Jacob for a hot bowl of soup! (Genesis 25:29-34).
Ladies, when a Nigerian man is not properly fed, he becomes irrational,
irritable and vulnerable to temptation. Feed us well not just for anything
else, but so you may have peace in the house…. lol
Now ladies, ask any Nigerian man to choose between a
delicious plate of soup and no sex or a tasteless meal and a mind-blowing sex,
he will prefer to drink garri without sugar and have that mind-blowing
encounter with you in bed. Does that tell you something? Babes, you may be
everything from smart, charming with long pretty legs and even God-fearing but
if your husband doesn’t find you sexually attractive, SHIKENA. A Nigerian man
always wants that thing. So, stop holding back whenever he wants it. Adopt the
Boy Scout motto that says “always be prepared.” Stop using your sexuality to
manipulate or punish him.
Our greatest vulnerability is our sexuality, so don’t just
go there – No games with that please. Give yourself to him freely every time,
every way and everywhere. The Bible commands you, “Deprive not one the other,
except it be with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting
and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your lack of
self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:5). Did you hear that? It says even after
fasting, you should still give it to him…. Hmmmmm! I love the Bible. No wonder
they call it the “perfect book.”
All men want to be successful. But it is so unfortunate that
most Nigerian women measure success by what a man has accomplished and not by
who he is as a person. It is the role of the woman to help her man see the big
picture in life, not through the eyes of someone who wants to purchase every
latest trend in fashion, mobile phones and cars. The good book of the lord
says, “Better is the poor (man) who walks in his integrity than one perverse in
his ways, though he be rich.” (Proverbs 28:6). So, ladies, always let your man
know when he is doing a good job. Praise him for his patience with words like,
“I really appreciate that you helped me with the dishes today.” “Thanks so much
for emptying the dustbin; I appreciate you honey, even in the small things.”
Note that a little compliment to a Nigerian man every now and again works like
magic.
Nigerian men are driven by the need for significance. We
often ask ourselves this question, “Do I really matter to her?” A man’s thirst
for significance can only be quenched in knowing how important he is. That is
why we will chase after every vain pursuit only to hear the words, “You matter.
You are important. You are appreciated. You are significant.” If a man never
heard these words or sensed this approval from his woman, he can spend his whole
life chasing someone else who will value his identity.
Support your man at every turn. Be there for him to guide
him. This is God’s command for you as the woman. God said, “It is not good that
the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis
2:18). A man needs help in the small things like finding our car keys or in
bigger things like building a business. It has become one of the most popular
sayings that “behind every great man is a far greater woman.”
With men, two plus two is always four. We are a
straight-jacket mind species. Maybe it is so because we have always found
solace in being logical. And it has proved to be a sure way one can maintain
stability in the home, especially in times of uncertainty or danger. But it is clear
that men most times lack that natural intuitiveness found in women. Which makes
it important, that whenever your man is about to strike a business deal, he
needs your input because he might not understand that deep gut feeling you have
that something is not right.
For a man, if it looks good “on paper,” it is good even when
in your heart of hearts, you can smell something foul brewing. Your man needs
your intuitive, instinctive, perceptive and discerning insights when making
decisions. But as his woman, you should be careful so as not to bruise his ego.
A man is not molded to understand the emotional and dynamics
behind the problems that women face. So it is important that the woman doesn’t
go running and pouring all her cares, worries, fears, insecurities and troubles
on him all at once, it can be very overwhelming. If it is your car that is
making that funny noise or something in the house is broken, YESSSSS! he knows
exactly what to do instantly. Every man requires that extra training to be a
good listener and you will have to working at it until he is there.
You can simply start by asking him to listen to you for one
minute without interruption and gradually build up his tolerance level. If you
throw a fifteen-minute monologue at him, he will freeze up, walk away or get
annoyed. Make things simple for him. Spell out exactly what you need, even if
it is just a simple hug (and you may want to also explain to him that a hug
does not mean you want to have sex!)… because e nor dey hard us to conclude.
lol
Every man wants to come home to a peaceful house after a
long day at work. But our women don’t always permit such a luxury. We want
tranquility and control in every aspect of our lives; that is why we sometimes
do everything possible to create an atmosphere of peace and serenity. It is
also why every man dreads a nagging woman. A nagging woman drains us of body
vitamins and morale.
If you nag your man, he will distance himself emotionally
and possibly even physically. The Bible says, “It is better to dwell in a
corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”
(Proverbs 25:24).
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